If you are new to this site the following post is not typical. This is a journey deeper into my mother’s death and our family dynamic that might be unsettling. I welcome you to stay but I understand if you don’t. Here are some other posts that you might like instead: How Big is Your [...]
Category Archives: mama
The Truth about my Mama: part 2 “Prison”
November 21, 2011 – 10:53 pm
If you are new to this site the following post is not typical. This is a journey deeper into my mother’s death and our family dynamic that might be unsettling. I welcome you to stay but I understand if you don’t. Here are some other posts that you might like instead: A Pelican and Your [...]
The Truth about my Mama: part 1 – “Whore”
November 11, 2011 – 4:01 pm
If you are new to this site the following post is not typical. This is a journey deeper into my mother’s death and our family dynamic that might be unsettling. I welcome you to stay but I understand if you don’t. Here are some other posts that you might like instead: What the Scientists don’t [...]
Noticing what is gone
October 27, 2011 – 10:45 pm
I have been gone. Have you noticed? Not writing. Not being social on social media type things. Not feeling like I have much to say and when I do have an idea just not sitting my butt down to clack it out. Some dear friends have noticed my absence and nudged me – “I would [...]
Black Cat Wisdom
May 22, 2011 – 8:50 pm
When my mother passed away she left 7 cats and 4 dogs behind, many of which had issues. During one of my last visits she asked me to promise that if anything happened to her that I would take care of Sweet Pea. I said, “Yes of course,” and thought in my head, “No way [...]
How to tell when its time to scatter the ashes
May 12, 2011 – 8:57 pm
Lately, instead of getting important things done I have been flopping around like a goldfish on the kitchen floor after an ill fated glory leap. (you know when they are just so exhilarated to be a fish they fling themselves out of the water and misjudge where the edge of the bowl ends and death [...]
The many faces of “Mother”
May 7, 2011 – 11:07 pm
It is Mother’s day again. I am feeling ambivalent. Actually I think I am a little mad at the holiday. My mother died suddenly a year and half ago and I have been pondering what it means to a person’s life to have, or not have, a mother. When we are called by society to [...]
Swallowing a Storm – What Grief has to give
March 24, 2011 – 11:40 pm
The day my mother died I unhinged my jaw and swallowed a storm. Howling winds screamed back out my throat into the comforter stuffed in my mouth to catch the sound. My cells filled with rain and missing that I couldn’t feel the bottom of yet. I kicked and scratched to escape the savaging of [...]
Wormhole to Happy
February 10, 2011 – 8:03 pm
Recently I visited the Griffith Observatory with my man and one of my favorite parts of the whole magnificent building was a stairway labeled: The Wormhole Stairway. I love the idea of an ordinary stairway that could instantaneously transport you to someplace else! Wormhole’s are shortcuts through spacetime… maybe. They aren’t a provable feature of [...]
An Unreasonable Time
January 29, 2011 – 3:35 pm
I played a part in my mother’s death. It was an unwanted, unwilling part but I had made an agreement. The kind of agreement that I prayed I would never have to fulfill. Disconnecting a loved one from life support is not something for which there is adequate preparation. It is wholly unreasonable to give an [...]
